Hahaha you’re head’s on fire. Bump it.– Hank, on Portal
There hasn’t been a podcast in a while, and probably won’t be one for a while. Blame Cory, that’s what I do and it always works out well.
GOD! If the Packers win, I’ll castrate myself.– Cory, showing his dedication.
I’m glad your nights are on fire. And “nights” is pronounced...– Cory, in a typical conversation.
That was a hot massage.– Cory
Hank: All the hottest ladies are at Concentration Camp.
Cory: Yeah. They're skinny, too.
Cory: You know what I do to people on the floor?
Hank: Sodomize them?
Cory: You done figured me out.
I hate you, Hank. I honestly hate you.– Cory, on Hank’s “Ball Towel” post
This is now my ball towel. It will be used for drying my balls and all other...– Hank, upon finding a new hand-towel in his laundry.
Hank: Have you updated the site in a while?
Hank: I said some great shit the other night; you should put one of those up.
Cory: I don't really remember anything funny you said...
Hank: What? Don't you write down witty things I say in a notebook?
Cory: ...You think I should write down things you say in a notebook? A quote book?
Hank: Yes. Why is it not so?
So Cory, that stupid bitchtits, decided to not come celebrate New Year’s Eve with us down in MPLS. I even had the mic and everything (ok, not really, I’m just guilt-tripping him now) and he refused to show up. So them’s the breaks.
Anonymous asked: where r u guys from?
Anonymous asked: Inception??? Thoughts on it? Favorite classic movie 60's down.
Anonymous asked: I would like you to explain what a hypotemoose is.
The Ask and Submit Buttons!
Use them if you wish, because they are awesome. They give you a little bit of control over what we talk about and we like discussing topics. What this will do is make us argue, which we know is funny. Thanks again for the support!
smartwentstupid: maggizine: headabovewaterx: ...
It’s all virgins and neckbeards over there.– Hank, on a group of “Magic: The Gathering” players
I wanna know who is ripping off sheets of toilet paper and throwing them around...– Hank, on the wet toilet paper on our bathroom floor.
Cory: You... That was... You looked like you were trying to cast a magic spell.
Hank: I was. Casting the spell of music.
Cory: HAH! "My biggest regret is making out with Pauly D from Jersey Shore." That's funny, she actually made out with him.
Hank: Is that the one you look like?
Cory: No, that's Ronnie.
A Big Old Favor to Ask
As you’re probably aware, today is Tuesday!!! You should visit http://www.tumblr.com/directory/recommend and recommend this podcast for the directory! Thanks!
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Hank: You're not very quick on your feet.
Cory: Quick enough on my feet to kick you in the head.
I’m a bitch. I ate ALL of your fruit snacks. DERP DERP DERP.– Hank, on his recent dumbassery
No, see, calling you gay is gold. But this isn’t what people want.– Hank, on insults directed at him
I’m like your gay Sherpa, up Mount St. Gay. And when you reach the top,...– Hank, on our gaytastic relationship.
F#$& S*@# B!#^%– Hank, on losing at video games
I do it because I like hearing myself… write– Cory, on why he writes
All my quotes are instant gold.– Hank, lying to himself
I roll around with men for fun, how does that make you feel?– Cory, talking about his passtimes.
The setting is 2 AM in Middlebrook 122
Hank: You know what we should do? We should make a podcast.
Cory: ...Are you serious?
Hank: Yeah. That'd be the ill-est shit.
Cory: Fuck yeah, son.
Hank: What are we gonna call it?
Cory: I don't know, man. "Go Hank Yourself."
Hank: Bad Karma.
Hank: Because it comes back to you.